In a letter which appeared recently in the nationally syndicated column, "Dear Abby," a mother wrote to say that she had given her 13-year-old daughter information about several kinds of contraceptives. After she told her daughter how to use the contraceptives she placed them in a box in the girl's closet. The mother wrote: "I told her I would not check the box, but if she ever felt a need to experiment that they would be there." Abby praised the mother, saying: "Every daughter should have a mother like you."

In today's permissive society teenagers are no longer expected to abstain from sex before marriage. The growing number of sexually active teens exposed to the danger of contracting AIDS has resulted in an evangelistic crusade by groups such as Planned Parenthood for "safe sex" through the use of condoms.

The Catholic response to the demand for the promotion and distribution of condoms to teens must be a resounding NO. The Church has always taught that sex outside of marriage is a serious offense against God. Instructing teens in the use of condoms compromises that teaching. It also gives teens a false sense of security. Condoms don't guarantee safe sex. They only reduce the risk of contracting a disease that always results in death.

In a recent article entitled "Teenagers and AIDS" (Newsweek, August 3, 1992), two professionals involved in AIDS education admitted that educating teens in the use of condoms just isn't working. Roger Bohman, who teaches a course on AIDS at the University of California, Los Angeles, took surveys of students' condom use before and after his course. The results of his surveys showed that students didn't change their behavior even though they knew all the dangers.

Dr. E. Richard Stiehn of the Los Angeles Pediatric AIDS Consortium stated: "We have a hard time gaining compliance from the teens ... I don't think it's ignorance of the consequences so much as the fallacy that it can only happen to someone else."

When it comes to AIDS and the other serious problems that result from teenage sex, there is no such thing as a "quick fix." The Catholic community must do much more, however, than merely oppose the quick-fix mentality of condom centered sex education. In order to reverse the present trend toward teenage sexual promiscuity it must offer Catholic teens information about sex which will meet their intellectual, emotional and spiritual needs.

Here, then, is what every Catholic teen should know about sex:

1. The Church's teachings and the reasons for these teachings. During the last 20 years the Church's teachings regarding issues such as contraception, abortion, divorce, pre-marital intercourse and homosexuality have been continually attacked in the news media and on television talk shows. Yet reasons for supporting these teachings have been given little, if any, emphasis in homilies and religious education programs. It should come as no surprise, then, that large numbers of Catholics, as evidenced by several opinion polls, reject the Church's teachings on sexual morality.

If we are to realistically expect today's Catholic teens to follow the Church's teachings regarding sexual morality we must give them cogent reasons for these teachings. Priests and catechists must reaffirm the Church's teaching that sex belongs in marriage and stress the many positive aspects of this teaching. Parents, too, must do their part by supporting the Church's teachings through their words and example.

2. Peer pressure. Today's teens, like teens of every generation, want to feel accepted by their peers. But all too often they seek this acceptance through slavish conformity to whatever is perceived as the "in" thing to do. TV shows, movies, teen magazines and amoral sex education classes in public schools often portray the sexually active teen as the norm.

Catholic teens need to know that they are not alone when they choose to say no to sex before marriage. Increasing numbers of teens are opting for sexual abstinence, which not only insures freedom from AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases, but also prevents unwanted pregnancies and feelings of guilt.

In his article "Common Sense About Condom Education" (The Education Digest, November 1991), Stephen Sroka, Adjunct Associate Professor of Health Education at Cleveland State University and author of the book Educator's Guide to AIDS and Other STD's, states that students should know "it is not true that 'Everybody is doing it.' In fact, most students in grades 7 to 12 are not sexually active."

Catholic teens need to be made aware of the importance of choosing friends who share their moral values. If they continually associate with teens who do drugs and are sexually active, chances are they will imitate their friends' behavior in order to maintain their friendships. They also need to be made aware of the powerful influence TV shows and movies have on their feelings and attitudes about sex. The importance of avoiding morally offensive forms of entertainment should be stressed.

3. Spiritual aids. Because of the hedonistic atmosphere which permeates society, saying no to sex outside of marriage is an ongoing challenge for today's Catholic teens. It is essential, then, that they know about the powerful spiritual aids their Catholic faith offers them in their efforts to practice the virtue of chastity. Parents, catechists and parish youth leaders should stress the importance of Bible reading, prayer and frequent reception of the sacraments of Reconciliation and the Eucharist in forming a close relationship with Christ. As God becomes increasingly important in their lives, teens will find it much easier to say no to illicit sex.

Today's Catholic teens also need to know about the lives of saints such as Maria Goretti, who died a martyr's death to preserve her purity, and Augustine, who turned from a life of immorality to become one of the greatest bishops and saints in the Church's history. Teens should be encouraged to read about the lives of these saints and other famous saints who overcame sexual temptations so that they will realize chastity is a realistic and attainable goal.

Perhaps the most important thing that today's teens need to know is that their parents, teachers and priests expect them to follow God's commands regarding the proper use of sex. For, in the final analysis, teens usually try to live up to the expectations that adults have for them.

One outstanding Catholic who has high expectations for today's teens is Mother Teresa of Calcutta, whom many consider a living saint. In a speech she gave in Assisi, Italy on June 6, 1982 she said: "It is very beautiful for a young man to love a young woman and for a young woman to love a young man, but make sure that on the day you get married you have a pure heart, a virgin heart, a heart full of love; purity and virginity. Help them, help the young people by your prayers to keep their bodies and their souls pure."

By: Geraldine Stafford
Published in the October '93 issue of The Homiletic & Pastoral Review
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